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The How To Guide to Debunking Confidence

The How To Guide toConfidence is a tricky thing. You either have it or you don’t, right?

We have all had those days, you look in the mirror, you don’t like what you see. You think, “If I just cut my hair, or tried new make-up, or bought new clothes, or lost a few pounds, then I would look good and then in turn, I would be happy. ”

Think about it, our confidence effects  everything in our world. How we view ourselves, our perspective on life, how we relate with other people, how we perform at work, our relationships, the list goes on!

We can tend to put a lot of confidence in confidence itself. I am so guilty of this! In fact, I am on a mission: to debunk confidence.


What does this mean you wonder? Well, if you look up the definition of debunking it says: to expose a falseness or belief; to show that something is not true. Which means, confidence isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be! Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be confident, however, where do you place that confidence?

On that note, here are my 5 easy ways to debunking confidence:

  1. Confidence is not associated with happinessgirl

Why do we tend to associate happiness with confidence? We think if we are happy, then we must be confident and vice versa. However, this is not always the case.

First, let’s talk about how the feeling of happiness is very conditional, however, God’s love is not. Through God’s love you will experience a joy and a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). That means the joy that I am talking about will surpass your circumstances.

So, let me get this straight, if happiness is conditional, that means my confidence is conditional, right? The answer is yes, as long as you associate your confidence with happiness.

If we place our belief and base our truth on our own confidence, where does that lead us? For me, it leads me to constantly doubt myself.

In my own circumstance, I recently realized after leaving my last job that I placed a lot of my confidence in where I worked. And in turn, I would base my happiness on that fact. I found my confidence being shaken by the fact that I did not have a job. I would look in the mirror every day and think: “If you won’t have anything important to do, you aren’t worth anything.” Which is simply not true and a lie from the enemy.

The enemy is constantly going to be whispering lies in our ears, telling us we are not good enough, we can’t make it and that we will fail if we try.

Ask yourself this question: Where do you base your truth?

2. Confidence is not a feeling, it is a habit


Habits can be hard to come by if you are trying to create a good, healthy habit. Now, creating a bad habit is a different story all together.Those habits are easy peasy lemon squeezy and harder to kick. Like for example, if you want to be healthier and cut out sugar for a month and eat vegetables every day instead, that is a hard habit to form. Reading your Bible everyday? Also, hard and not convenient. Yet, with time and commitment, we can do it! In this case, confidence is getting into the habit of every day seeking Jesus. Allow Him to tell you who you are and speak those words over yourself and that is where your confidence will start to naturally flow.

In order to be good at something, you have to do it over and over again. Practice makes perfect! Or in this case, Practice makes a good habit!

Now here is the kicker:

If we make it a habit to put our confidence in God INSTEAD of ourselves, there is a whole new world of possibilities because we are no longer just relying on ourselves, but rather, God working through us! 

It is not that we think we are qualified to do anything on our own. Our qualification comes from God. (2 Corinthians 3:5)

Can I just say I am so glad we do not have to do this on our own. Whew!

3. Confidence is about knowing your worth


It says in God’s Word that we are God’s masterpiece and His handiwork. (Ephesians 2:10)

That’s who we are…His masterpiece.  

Who is affirming us? Our friends, family? Ourselves? If so, that will unfortunately setting ourselves up to be let down.  As I mentioned earlier, we constantly doubt ourselves. Who is telling us who we are? That is where we need to listen to what God says about us and in those words and promises is where we find our true confidence.

4. Confidence is Trusting in God and not yourself.


“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5)

The definition of confidence is to put your belief into something you trust. This concept is interesting to me because we tend to put our trust in ourselves and then get upset when we get let down. If that is the case, we will always get let down. That is why it is important to put your confidence in the One that knows you better than you know yourself.

5. Confidence isn’t worrying about tomorrow, but instead letting tomorrow worry about itself. (Matthew 6:34)


I am definitely one who strives to be in a place where I can wake up every morning and say to God, “Whatever happens today, I know you got it.” And really, why worry about tomorrow when you honestly do not know what is going to happen tomorrow? You can definitely guess and attempt to plan the best you can, but you just do not know what will happen.

Well, let me tell you what is so cool about being a believer in God’s power: You don’t have to be alone! Isn’t this amazing?

Whatever you are facing, whether it is a new job, relationship trouble, being a mom or self image, know that you are not alone! What is so awesome about being a believer in God’s mighty power, is that you have access to all the joy, love and confidence you need to face your circumstances head on!

Just remember, you are powerful because God is powerful!  That is where your confidence should be coming from, God’s power from within you. He wants so badly to display His power through you and can’t wait to tell you what He thinks about you.

Ask God what He thinks about you today, it will be worth it, I promise!



Melissa Nichols is a guest writer and the creator of the inspirational blog, Clara’s Conversations. Melissa loves to write about God’s heart and believes God is relational and wants to have conversations with us everyday. She also loves anything with polka dots, drinking coffee and rummaging through antique shops. Want to read more of her writing? Check out her blog or follow her on instagram @polkadotmel. 





  1. Hi,
    I would add that in the fear of the Lord (i.e. reverence, respect, recognition that God is God), there is strong confidence. This is a scripture in Proverbs but unfortunately I can’t recall the exact reference. This is a bible verse I like to meditate upon whenever I am faced with a situation where I feel I lack confidence.
    Thank you for reminding us that confidence placed in anything outside of God will eventually let us down.



    “…If you love what you are doing, you will be successful” – Albert Schweitzer

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