[ prayer ]

Have You Ever Wondered About How to Pray?

Have You Ever WonderedHave You Ever Wondered About How to Pray? Praying is a very personal topic for people. For myself, I had the most difficult time praying with other people because I thought I’d be judged: my lack of knowledge about what and how to pray would show through and other believers would look down on me.

No one taught me how to pray and it made me a self-conscious prayer. This is really the opposite of what prayer is suppose to be.

Prayer is not about you, it is about God’s will and others. It is silly to me now that I was paralyzed to pray because I didn’t want to be judged.

If you are frozen by fear or embarrassed to pray with others or even out loud, because you are unsure of how to pray, don’t you worry, I’ve got your back.

At the bottom of this article we have three specific prayers that walk you through praying God’s will in the hard times: financial issues, marital problems, and the sudden loss of a loved one.

girl sad with guyI’ll be honest, the hardest person to pray around was my husband. He knew much more about the Bible than me and he was always quick to correct me. Because prayer is such a personal thing, it felt like he was stabbing me right in the heart when he’d tell me I was wrong.

After many years of discovering who I am in Christ, how to pray, and helping my husband to understand how to lovingly correct people, I have no fear to pray around him, but it has taken a long time!

I’m going to be completely honest with you about prayer: Your prayers show exactly where you are at with God.

Yeah, so if you feel like an immature believer, your prayers will show it. If you have no clue what to pray for, your prayers will show it. If you don’t understand who you are in Jesus, your prayers will show it.

Your prayers make you transparent.

BUT THAT IS OK! Why? As a fellow Christian, it is my job to help you.

you-are-here-800x533If we were soldiers and I saw a whole in your armor, I’d say, “Oh man, if we go on the battlefield and you get hit, you will get hurt. Let me help you fill in that hole.” You would say, “Thank you for caring and noticing!”

It is the same with our walks as Christians, I’m not here to tell you that you are wrong and you need to do better, I’m here to extend my hand and say, “Let me help you, I know a better way.”

So, from the heart of a helper, not a disciplinarian, let me show how to pray.

bookOpen your Bible to Matthew 6:5-14 and read it. I’ll wait.

Welcome back! So, if you notice, these are the words of Jesus to His 12 disciples (also you and me) and He gives us an amazing model of prayer.

First: He says, don’t be hypocritical when you pray. You are talking to God, it is personal, not a show. Don’t pray out loud to get people to look at you, pray from your heart.

(Side note: Don’t misunderstand what Jesus is saying though, we are still suppose to pray in public, in church, and out loud, but not for the purpose to be seen.)

Second: He points out to not just talk and talk and talk at God. Jesus is straightforward, “God knows what you need.” Instead of giving God your list of needs and wants, pray that God’s will be done.

How to pray:

God’s will be done. This is the key to understanding verses like John 14:13-14, Matthew 7:7, and Luke 11:9, that talk about asking in Jesus’ name and receiving what we pray for.

If I ask for something God wants to give me, like health, He will bless me and give me health. If I pray for a Tesla Model X, I’m pretty sure that isn’t coming from heaven.

DSC01751 (2)When we pray for God’s will to be done, it is coming from a place of power; it is coming from the Holy Spirit who has the ability to make God’s will happen. The Holy Spirit’s power is the power that rose Jesus from the grave and that same power lives and moves in YOU (Romans 8:11, Acts 1:8)!

What is God’s will?

Now, if you have been in church awhile, this is a tricky one. Everyone seems to have their own opinion about it, which is silly. Jesus tells us right here what God’s will is in verse 10: “Your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

birdinskyGod wants earth to look like heaven.

In heaven, everyone is always with God, they are healed, joyous, abundantly blessed; everyone has a home. I could go on, but we know most of this information because of the book of Revelation (chapters 21-22) and we find some of it in the Old Testament as well.

There have been many people who have gone to heaven and come back with testimonies that line up with the Word of God. The book “Heaven is for Real” (which is also a movie now), and the testimony of Jesse Duplantis are amazing. Both of these two testimonies really helped me understand heaven more clearly and God’s love for me.

The icing on the cake

It is very important to always pray in Jesus name for three reasons:

  1. He is our intercessor at the throne of Father God (Hebrews 7:22-28).
  2. There is power in His name (Mark 16:17-18, Luke 10:17, John 16:33).
  3. It keeps you humble.

Prayers for the hard times

How to pray during financial struggles:

flowersGod’s will is for you to have life abundantly and He desires to bless you financially. Sometimes, finances may be a wreck because you really screwed up, or maybe hard times fell on you and there was nothing you could do about it. Whatever YOUR situation was, it doesn’t matter anymore as long as you are earnestly following God with all of your heart!

“God, you are a good God and I am your daughter. Just like a good daddy wants to take care of his little girl, so You want to take care of me. Please reveal to me where I need to change my spending habits. Please show me if I should get a different job and where. Tell me where and how much to tithe. I pray your will be done with my finances and I claim blessing and financial abundance so I can bless the fellow believers with the overflow that you are going to give me. In Jesus name, amen.”

How to pray for a failing marriage:

city behind peopleMarriage is a picture of God’s relationship to the church. He will never break that covenant no matter how unfaithful we are to Him. God is for your marriage, and unless you are in a very rare circumstance, He wants what you have to work and be blessed.

“God, my heart hurts so badly right now. I need you. Holy Spirit, comfort me, embrace me right now. Looking to you Holy Spirit, lead me into all truth. I look to you, right now, to help me put one foot in front of the other and reveal to me specific things I need to change to cause this marriage to thrive. I pray for my husband, I pray that his heart would also run to you right now, and that he would seek you as I am. In your name, I break the chains that are holding back our marriage from being fulfilling right now, in the name of Jesus. We are blessed, we will thrive, we are united in YOU. Raise my heart up in perseverance and your steadfast truth. I love you, you are my rock and my salvation. In Jesus name, amen.”

How to pray after losing a loved one:

girl over waterThis is tough, depending on whether the person was old or young (perhaps not even born yet) and saved or unsaved, God’s will is for everyone to be united with Him. He doesn’t want anyone to die early. His desire is for people to have a full life of intimacy with Him. The prayer below is for the person who lost someone unexpectedly and was not sure if they were saved.

“Holy Spirit, you are the comforter and you see the state my heart is in. Come in, cover me in peace that surpasses understanding. Guard my mind from the enemy. Speak gentle whispers to my heart and walk me through this season in your arms. I claim the promises of peace and joy that the Bible talks about. Fill what feels empty with your warm embrace. Comfort the others that also feel this emptiness. Thank you that you are always with me and I never ever have to be alone. In Jesus name, amen.”

Quick note: If you have lost a child (or lost someone who has been severely mentally handicapped their entire lives), I believe that because of our Father’s heart, there is a window in which He allows people to enter into His kingdom without clearly excepting Jesus. I do not have Bible verses that support this but I know God is about our hearts and choices. If these indivduals never were able to understand choices, Jesus would meet these people/babies where they are at and invite them into the kingdom in a way that they understood. I hope that brings you comfort.


Let’s be honest, if you have felt this way about praying, your girlfriends probably have too. Help your friends out and share this article on Facebook or Pinterest!

To learn more about “Heaven is for Real”, click here.

To view Jesse Duplantis’ testimony of heaven on YouTube (btw- it is an hour and a half), click here.

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About Author

Amanda Schenkenberger

I'm a wife to a hard working man and a mama of four little adorable boys. We live near Portland, Oregon and we love it. Portland has a great vibe and we love sharing the good news of the gospel with the people here.

I'm a stay at home mom first, then a work at home mom. The kids have to come first. I love people, hiking, coffee, converse, and Jesus. I also love coffee. And another favorite thing of mine is coffee. :) If you like coffee, we should be friends.

My one ridiculous dream I'd really like to come true is to collect one of every Starbucks mug that is related to a city or country.

Have a blessed day!

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